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My husband and I are the same age, and we are both born in the 1990s. Last May, my husband was driving a car outside to pick up goods. I was working in my hometown in Northeast China. One night when I returned home, I received a phone call from the Quzhou traffic police. They told me that my husband had died in a car accident and asked me to handle the accident and claim the body. None of the relatives and friends in my husband's family were willing to go with him. My father-in-law broke his leg and was unable to go in a wheelchair. There was no way I could do it. I took my mother and mother-in-law, the two elderly people, and they were afraid they wouldn't be able to do it. In the end, I went to Quzhou with a cousin from my house. I got his phone dropped at the scene of the accident from the traffic police team. In order to find out the cause of the accident and whether he was tired driving, I flipped through his phone at night and found his chat records with multiple women. It was a WeChat account I had never seen before. At first, I didn't know it was him, but when I heard his voice, it was indeed his voice that I had to believe. Most of them are women who meet female anchors, as well as KTV and bath centers
Those women have photos, videos, voice calls, transfer records, and so on. Chatting is very revealing, and photos are the kind without clothes on. I never expected him to be like other women before. I trust him very much. At home, he was a very honest and honest person who always called me 'baby' and I called him 'flesh'. I always feel that although it's harder now, we are all working hard and life will always get better. I never thought about that aspect. Because he was driving a truck, I kept reminding him to be safe and not to talk on the phone because he was afraid of being distracted. However, he had a hot conversation with other women, even if he was in a hurry to pick up goods and had very little sleep time, he still had to chat with them during his break. Those women spoiled him and wanted delicious food, so he ordered fried chicken, milk tea, and crayfish. WeChat red envelope transfers continued, and live streaming rewards continued. I had to work as customer service during the day, and I had to keep replying to customers. I didn't have time to call him, so when I got home, I would clean up and chat with him for a while, but he didn't dare to chat for a long time because he was afraid of delaying his drive
Sometimes he stays up late and I can't accompany him to work the next day. Maybe that's how he went to find someone else, right? He had always told me that he didn't have enough highway toll, and that he didn't have enough loans this month, so he asked me to help him pay for them. When he finished collecting the goods and settled the account, he would pay me back. I thought he worked hard outside, and if I could help him, I would give him a red envelope for his birthday. I gave him a salary and wished him a happy birthday. I saved money and didn't dare to spend more money. Now I see that he has been doing these things behind my back, I feel like a big fool, foolishly kept hidden by him all the time, while he was spending money recklessly, giving gifts to live streaming rooms, and even meeting female netizens in a city for dinner, staying in high-end hotels, foot massage and underwater fishing. He talked to those women for dozens of minutes, over an hour of voice calls. Looking at those chat records, my hands were shaking so hard that I couldn't hold my phone. During the pandemic, I took a plane from Shenzhen to Quzhou to handle traffic accidents and things behind him. I was completely angry. If I had cried to death before, now I am so angry that I wish I could fly back immediately. I don't care who cares, who cares. I just want to take my mother with me immediately, not him anymore.
But in the end, I stayed there and dealt with his aftermath. I went to the traffic police to take a statement because I found his consumption records two hours before the accident, eliminating the possibility of fatigue driving. In the end, the traffic police determined that it was due to improper driving, failure to avoid traffic in a timely manner, and serious overloading. Even so, his pursuit of the tail is still the main responsibility. After receiving the body from the funeral home, he was cremated, and then brought back to his hometown to bury him. I was there all the time. I signed the cremation. When I got married, I bought him a Casio watch that he always liked. They were buried together. And the Jack Jones windbreaker he bought for him was so beautiful that he wore it every time he went out to do business and burned it.
Then there was a long wait, waiting for the insurance claim to be settled. During this period, I negotiated compensation with the insurance company, as it was the main responsibility and could only compensate 30%. The loan company called me time and time again to make the payment, and also sent me a lawyer's letter. I have checked all the consumption records he had before his death, and pushed forward by date from the day of the accident, gradually clearing this bad debt. During his three years of marriage, he spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on medical treatment for his parents every year. Yes, he spent hundreds of thousands, and he had to take money every year. He fell this year and fell ill next year. Anyway, there was always an accident at the end of the year, and there wasn't a year to stop. In his father's words, he said, "I'm your old man. If I have something to do, you have to take care of me!" He asked his husband for money every time he had something to do. Therefore, we worked hard every year to earn money for the three years of marriage, but we didn't save any money, I still owe several hundred thousand yuan, and I dare not have children. We have never had children, how can we have children in this situation. Also, those who owe a loan company for buying a truck, those who owe a credit card, and those who owe relatives and friends have all been repaid with compensation. Fortunately, the insurance claims are enough to cover the losses, and he has used his life to repay everyone's money.
My grandparents hung up our wedding house and sold it to an intermediary company. The house was originally in my grandparents' name, but the house they paid for has not been transferred to him. I didn't want their house either. They can still earn some retirement money by selling it. I don't owe him, nor do I owe their family anymore. I lived with my husband for three years because I wasn't worth it, but in the end, I didn't leave anything, which broke my heart. I packed up all my belongings and took them away. The furniture and appliances I bought were sold, which was a dowry given to me by my parents.
It has been over a year now, and I am still on my own. During this time, a friend asked me if I would like to find another one. I think I have lost the ability to love again, so why should I enter the cage of marriage again?
However, I also realized the loneliness and inadequacy of living alone. I started trying to find meaningful things to fill my inner void, such as reading, traveling, participating in social activities, and so on. I have also begun to learn how to get along with myself, learn to think independently and make decisions, and constantly strive to improve my emotional intelligence and communication skills to prevent myself from falling into the cage of marriage again.
Although I am still alone now, I believe that I have become more mature and independent, no longer aimlessly seeking love. No one can guarantee whether future love will come, but I hope to maintain an open and positive attitude, maintain good connections with people and things around me, and create more beautiful memories and experiences.
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